...4 years...

It occured to me today that it is March....big realization, I know...Now normally, the beginning of March signals to me a time of reminiscence about when Tyler and I first began our journey toward a relationship...this year, with so much going on and it beginning to slip further and further I had almost forgotten. almost. So let me go ahead and warn you up front, this one may get a little on the mushy, gushy, pluck your eyeballs out of your head b/c you're so warm and fuzzy with love side. For that I appologize.

4 years ago, I came home from college on a normal weekend to spend some time with my family. Very normal for me. I was (am) a homebody, and did not enjoy staying at school on the weekends. Upon my return home, I was told by my mother that we were heading to church for a Lay Renewal weekend...I had no clue what it was, but I was sure as heck not thrilled about it. I ended up being dragged choosing gracefully to go anyway. And, as they say, the rest is history. Tyler and I ended up spending a majority of the weekend together, talking, hanging out, really getting to know each other...and I started feeling something for him. But there was no way that this man that I've known my whole life as more of a brother, could possibly have the same feelings for me. However, much to my surprise and delight, he revealed that he did indeed have feelings for me, but was unsure about them and wanted to take things slowly. I agreed, and so we began a process of (what he called) "befriending". (If you're an HA Alumni, I'm sure this term is alot more common to you than it was to me at the time. If you're not so familiar, it is basically defined as "spending a lot of time together, talking, getting into each other's lives and truly finding out if this person could possibly be the one you really want to spend more time going crazy with) This time that we spent getting to know each other better was perhaps one of the sweetest times of my life (hopefully, our lives).

As I look back on these past 4 years, I am blown away by how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. I think we drive each other just as crazy as we did back then (some days maybe crazier since we can't walk away to our own separate corners). I think that we love each other as much as we did in the beginning of our relationship, just maybe in different ways (some days maybe more). I think we're more stressed at times, but that tends to happen with 3 kids under the age of 3. I am overwhelmed by how much my love for this amazing man grows by the day. Even when he drives me up the wall and all I want to do is smack him, there is something in me that knows that no matter how sticky the muck gets, we'll wade through it together. I've been reading Love & War by John and Stasi Eldridge recently, and have been LOVING it. One thing I read today that I absolutely loved was this:

"Here you are-make your stand. This is the man or woman whose heart you have been entrusted with. You really have no idea what depths of companionship are available until you venture into those waters, and hang in there for many years. Besides, your own transformation is barely under way. Who knows all that God has in store for both of you? We would say that at twenty-five years we are just beginning to understand."

Tyler Mother-Freakin Dagenhardt,

I am blown away by our relationship. Your love for me is overwhelming.

I know we drive each other up the wall some days and that I am NOT

always the easiest person to live with, but I am so grateful that you have

stuck it out with me through thick and thin.

I have so much respect for you and how hard you work to provide for

our family, and for the incredible example of a man that you are to our

children.We are lucky to have you in our lives.

You mean so much to so many people, and to simply be a part of

your life and ministry is such an honor and a blessing.

I love you with all my heart.

More today than yesterday,

but not as much as tomorrow.

~Jules