20 days

I will be in Haiti in 20 days. The details are coming together. Time is moving in fast motion, all heading toward the day that I will head to Raleigh, get on board a train and head towards Miami on my way to Ayiti.

I know I've said this several times, but there is so much on my mind as I grow closer to the day I leave. I'm not afraid. I know that sounds strange, but I'm honestly not afraid of the actual trip. Even though this will be my first intense missions trip and first time on an airplane and first time leaving the country and first time traveling anywhere by myself....none of that worries me.

I'm sad to say it, but the one thing that really rattles me is being away from Tyler. I've always had him there. He's always been my buffer when I've had to deal with new and frightening things. He's the "been there, done that" guy. He knows almost everything. It's so much easier to let him take the lead when we're together. I've just always allowed him to be that rock for me. I know, sad. I feel as though one of the reasons God has called me to Haiti is to put me in a place and position where I have to rely on Him, and ONLY Him. No Tyler, no parents, no friends, no kids to hide behind. Just me, pressing into the Lord and allowing HIM to be my strength.

So here I go. Taking a step into the unknown, knowing that that step will be met by the One who has called me. The One who knows exactly how many days I have. Who sees and understands all that I am dealing with now, and that I will be dealing with on my way to, while I'm in and heading back from Haiti. I'm such a jerk human, with stupid human emotions and feelings. It's time to let go and give it all to my Daddy.

In case anyone else is actually reading this besides me and God, I am in need of about $1000 more to get me there. Satan keeps throwing crap in our path and making things pop up that require the money that I thought we could allot for the trip. Shots are costing more, etc. But I know that my God is faithful and will provide. He doesn't call us to something and then just leave us hanging on a limb without any way to get to where He's wanting us to go. So if you're feeling a tugging in your spirit to help a sista out ;) anything would be greatly appreciated.

I think this is all I've got for now. I'm exhausted. The kids and I have been at my parent's house over the weekend because Tyler is sick and it's easier to just move us out and not have to worry about any germs that may be lurking around the house until I know he's better. I didn't get much sleep last night, and haven't had much rest today...and truthfully, am just missing my better half. But I am enjoying getting to spend some time with the rents. So it's not all bad. I just miss my bed. :) It's a GREAT bed. I'll miss that in Haiti too.

Jules