stress stress stress
too much too much too much
not enough not enough not enough
Jesus,
Give me what I need.
I suck at this by myself.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Lessons from a Shunemmite Woman
Elisha and the Woman from Shunem
8 One day Elisha went to the town of Shunem. A wealthy woman lived there, and she urged him to come to her home for a meal. After that, whenever he passed that way, he would stop there for something to eat. 9 She said to her husband, “I am sure this man who stops in from time to time is a holy man of God. 10 Let’s build a small room for him on the roof and furnish it with a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp. Then he will have a place to stay whenever he comes by.” 11 One day Elisha returned to Shunem, and he went up to this upper room to rest. 12 He said to his servant Gehazi, “Tell the woman from Shunem I want to speak to her.” When she appeared, 13 Elisha said to Gehazi, “Tell her, ‘We appreciate the kind concern you have shown us. What can we do for you? Can we put in a good word for you to the king or to the commander of the army?’” “No,” she replied, “my family takes good care of me.”
14 Later Elisha asked Gehazi, “What can we do for her?” Gehazi replied, “She doesn’t have a son, and her husband is an old man.” 15 “Call her back again,” Elisha told him. When the woman returned, Elisha said to her as she stood in the doorway, 16 “Next year at this time you will be holding a son in your arms!”
“No, my lord!” she cried. “O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.” 17 But sure enough, the woman soon became pregnant. And at that time the following year she had a son, just as Elisha had said.
18 One day when her child was older, he went out to help his father, who was working with the harvesters. 19 Suddenly he cried out, “My head hurts! My head hurts!” His father said to one of the servants, “Carry him home to his mother.” 20 So the servant took him home, and his mother held him on her lap. But around noontime he died. 21 She carried him up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, then shut the door and left him there. 22 She sent a message to her husband: “Send one of the servants and a donkey so that I can hurry to the man of God and come right back.” 23 “Why go today?” he asked. “It is neither a new moon festival nor a Sabbath.” But she said, “It will be all right.” 24 So she saddled the donkey and said to the servant, “Hurry! Don’t slow down unless I tell you to.” 25 As she approached the man of God at Mount Carmel, Elisha saw her in the distance. He said to Gehazi, “Look, the woman from Shunem is coming. 26 Run out to meet her and ask her, ‘Is everything all right with you, your husband, and your child?’” “Yes,” the woman told Gehazi, “everything is fine.”
27 But when she came to the man of God at the mountain, she fell to the ground before him and caught hold of his feet. Gehazi began to push her away, but the man of God said, “Leave her alone. She is deeply troubled, but the Lord has not told me what it is.” 28 Then she said, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn’t I say, ‘Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up’?” 29 Then Elisha said to Gehazi, “Get ready to travel[a]; take my staff and go! Don’t talk to anyone along the way. Go quickly and lay the staff on the child’s face.” 30 But the boy’s mother said, “As surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, I won’t go home unless you go with me.” So Elisha returned with her. 31 Gehazi hurried on ahead and laid the staff on the child’s face, but nothing happened. There was no sign of life. He returned to meet Elisha and told him, “The child is still dead.”
32 When Elisha arrived, the child was indeed dead, lying there on the prophet’s bed. 33 He went in alone and shut the door behind him and prayed to the Lord. 34 Then he lay down on the child’s body, placing his mouth on the child’s mouth, his eyes on the child’s eyes, and his hands on the child’s hands. And as he stretched out on him, the child’s body began to grow warm again! 35 Elisha got up, walked back and forth across the room once, and then stretched himself out again on the child. This time the boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes! 36 Then Elisha summoned Gehazi. “Call the child’s mother!” he said. And when she came in, Elisha said, “Here, take your son!” 37 She fell at his feet and bowed before him, overwhelmed with gratitude. Then she took her son in her arms and carried him downstairs.
...so this scripture popped up in something I was reading today, and I'm still attempting to process the potential application in my own life of the meaning I'm getting out of it (if THAT made any sense...). So I'm going to ask you to bear with me as I attempt to sort out my jumbled thoughts...
This woman was pretty great. She sensed that Elisha was a man of God and opened her home to him, to the extent of building a room on top of her house for him to be able to rest when he passed through town. She was humble, hospitable and kind. Elisha was so touched by her kindness, he asked her what she wanted...ANYTHING that she wanted would be given to her. And she says she needs nothing...all she has is sufficient for her. Then Elisha finds out that she is barren, yet she yearns for a child. So he tells her she will have a child by that time the next year. And she does.
To me, this is pretty incredible. We all have dreams and desires within us. Some that are short sighted and truthfully, not that important. And some that we feel the need for and desire for within our very bones. The latter is what I believe this woman's desire for a child was like. After all of this time, she is finally rewarded with a child. Having my children, although strenuous at times, has been one of the most incredible blessings of my life. I've always wanted kids (perhaps not as quickly and close together as they were given to me, but desired them, nonetheless). I've always know that if I wasn't able to have kids, I would feel a great sense of loss. I can only imagine how this woman was feeling. Then Elisha shows up and basically grants her wish. Her reaction, like many of us who have held on to a dream that we've virtually given up on, was doubt. (v.16 “No, my lord!” she cried. “O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.”)
8 One day Elisha went to the town of Shunem. A wealthy woman lived there, and she urged him to come to her home for a meal. After that, whenever he passed that way, he would stop there for something to eat. 9 She said to her husband, “I am sure this man who stops in from time to time is a holy man of God. 10 Let’s build a small room for him on the roof and furnish it with a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp. Then he will have a place to stay whenever he comes by.” 11 One day Elisha returned to Shunem, and he went up to this upper room to rest. 12 He said to his servant Gehazi, “Tell the woman from Shunem I want to speak to her.” When she appeared, 13 Elisha said to Gehazi, “Tell her, ‘We appreciate the kind concern you have shown us. What can we do for you? Can we put in a good word for you to the king or to the commander of the army?’” “No,” she replied, “my family takes good care of me.”
14 Later Elisha asked Gehazi, “What can we do for her?” Gehazi replied, “She doesn’t have a son, and her husband is an old man.” 15 “Call her back again,” Elisha told him. When the woman returned, Elisha said to her as she stood in the doorway, 16 “Next year at this time you will be holding a son in your arms!”
“No, my lord!” she cried. “O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.” 17 But sure enough, the woman soon became pregnant. And at that time the following year she had a son, just as Elisha had said.
18 One day when her child was older, he went out to help his father, who was working with the harvesters. 19 Suddenly he cried out, “My head hurts! My head hurts!” His father said to one of the servants, “Carry him home to his mother.” 20 So the servant took him home, and his mother held him on her lap. But around noontime he died. 21 She carried him up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, then shut the door and left him there. 22 She sent a message to her husband: “Send one of the servants and a donkey so that I can hurry to the man of God and come right back.” 23 “Why go today?” he asked. “It is neither a new moon festival nor a Sabbath.” But she said, “It will be all right.” 24 So she saddled the donkey and said to the servant, “Hurry! Don’t slow down unless I tell you to.” 25 As she approached the man of God at Mount Carmel, Elisha saw her in the distance. He said to Gehazi, “Look, the woman from Shunem is coming. 26 Run out to meet her and ask her, ‘Is everything all right with you, your husband, and your child?’” “Yes,” the woman told Gehazi, “everything is fine.”
27 But when she came to the man of God at the mountain, she fell to the ground before him and caught hold of his feet. Gehazi began to push her away, but the man of God said, “Leave her alone. She is deeply troubled, but the Lord has not told me what it is.” 28 Then she said, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn’t I say, ‘Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up’?” 29 Then Elisha said to Gehazi, “Get ready to travel[a]; take my staff and go! Don’t talk to anyone along the way. Go quickly and lay the staff on the child’s face.” 30 But the boy’s mother said, “As surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, I won’t go home unless you go with me.” So Elisha returned with her. 31 Gehazi hurried on ahead and laid the staff on the child’s face, but nothing happened. There was no sign of life. He returned to meet Elisha and told him, “The child is still dead.”
32 When Elisha arrived, the child was indeed dead, lying there on the prophet’s bed. 33 He went in alone and shut the door behind him and prayed to the Lord. 34 Then he lay down on the child’s body, placing his mouth on the child’s mouth, his eyes on the child’s eyes, and his hands on the child’s hands. And as he stretched out on him, the child’s body began to grow warm again! 35 Elisha got up, walked back and forth across the room once, and then stretched himself out again on the child. This time the boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes! 36 Then Elisha summoned Gehazi. “Call the child’s mother!” he said. And when she came in, Elisha said, “Here, take your son!” 37 She fell at his feet and bowed before him, overwhelmed with gratitude. Then she took her son in her arms and carried him downstairs.
...so this scripture popped up in something I was reading today, and I'm still attempting to process the potential application in my own life of the meaning I'm getting out of it (if THAT made any sense...). So I'm going to ask you to bear with me as I attempt to sort out my jumbled thoughts...
This woman was pretty great. She sensed that Elisha was a man of God and opened her home to him, to the extent of building a room on top of her house for him to be able to rest when he passed through town. She was humble, hospitable and kind. Elisha was so touched by her kindness, he asked her what she wanted...ANYTHING that she wanted would be given to her. And she says she needs nothing...all she has is sufficient for her. Then Elisha finds out that she is barren, yet she yearns for a child. So he tells her she will have a child by that time the next year. And she does.
To me, this is pretty incredible. We all have dreams and desires within us. Some that are short sighted and truthfully, not that important. And some that we feel the need for and desire for within our very bones. The latter is what I believe this woman's desire for a child was like. After all of this time, she is finally rewarded with a child. Having my children, although strenuous at times, has been one of the most incredible blessings of my life. I've always wanted kids (perhaps not as quickly and close together as they were given to me, but desired them, nonetheless). I've always know that if I wasn't able to have kids, I would feel a great sense of loss. I can only imagine how this woman was feeling. Then Elisha shows up and basically grants her wish. Her reaction, like many of us who have held on to a dream that we've virtually given up on, was doubt. (v.16 “No, my lord!” she cried. “O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.”)
But her doubts were squelched a year later when she was blessed with a beautiful baby boy. Several years go by and her son grows into a young man. Until one day, while working in the fields with his father, he is struck with pains in his head (possibly heat stroke or an anyerism?) and is rushed home, where he dies in his mother's arms.
WHAT?!?!?!
The kid dies in his mother's arms?? The same mother who had yearned for him, desired him, undoubtedly prayed for him, now holds her dead child on her lap.Why would a God who gave her this incredible blessing allow it to DIE right in her arms?? What kind of sense would that make? Instead of skipping to the wonderful miracle part of the story, we're going to take a slight detour here...We all have dreams, aspirations, callings, ministries, etc...Many of those line up with what God has called us to do with our lives, that will ultimately give Him glory. These ministries, callings, dreams, aspirations, and so forth, are placed on our hearts by God himself. However, so many times, our stupid human nature takes over, and we allow our calling, our dream, our ministry to come before the God who called us. So many times we wonder why God allowed us to have an incredible, on fire ministry that fizzled out right before our eyes. Or to see a dream that we have had for years, finally come to fruition, only to die in our arms after only holding it for a little while. Could it be because we allowed that dream or ministry to become our god? That we have allowed something, albeit wonderful and probably good, to stand in the way of our focus and love for our Creator.
It may be hard for us to understand or deal with in the midst of it, but knowing that our God always has a plan and a purpose for everything He allows us to go through, should bring us comfort in dealing with times such as these. In my own life there have been times where I have put my kids, my husband, my ministry before the Lord. I've been blessed that so far, He hasn't seen fit to take those things away from me to remind me of where my focus needs to be. Is there something in your life that you're placing before the Lord? Something that maybe was initially intended for good, and to bring God glory, but somehow began to be more about you, and taking your eyes off of the One who created you? Have you had a dream die in your arms and then asked God, as the woman from Shunem asked Elisha, "Didn’t I say, ‘Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up’"?
It's always easier for us to blame God, and make Him out to be the "bad guy who took something really good away from us". But maybe, just maybe, there's something good coming after it. Maybe our miracle comes after, so that we don't lose sight of the One thing that means more than anything. Our Lord. Our Creator.
But what do I know?
It may be hard for us to understand or deal with in the midst of it, but knowing that our God always has a plan and a purpose for everything He allows us to go through, should bring us comfort in dealing with times such as these. In my own life there have been times where I have put my kids, my husband, my ministry before the Lord. I've been blessed that so far, He hasn't seen fit to take those things away from me to remind me of where my focus needs to be. Is there something in your life that you're placing before the Lord? Something that maybe was initially intended for good, and to bring God glory, but somehow began to be more about you, and taking your eyes off of the One who created you? Have you had a dream die in your arms and then asked God, as the woman from Shunem asked Elisha, "Didn’t I say, ‘Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up’"?
It's always easier for us to blame God, and make Him out to be the "bad guy who took something really good away from us". But maybe, just maybe, there's something good coming after it. Maybe our miracle comes after, so that we don't lose sight of the One thing that means more than anything. Our Lord. Our Creator.
But what do I know?
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Definitely Worth the Read
Haiti Still Suffers When The Cameras Are Gone
by Bill Whitaker
The cameras are gone; Haiti is off the front pages. Now two months later, it's possible for those who experienced the magnitude 7.0 earthquake through the media to think of the devastation and the humanitarian crisis that followed in the past tense. Chile and health care and unemployment demand our attention. For the people of Haiti, however, the crisis continues — a constant, inescapable, overwhelming reality.
I was in Haiti for a month, arriving one week after the quake. The first week I spent in shock. I had lived through the Northridge quake that rocked Los Angeles in 1984. That was horrible. But nothing prepared me for the horror I encountered in Port-au-Prince.
Block after block after block was leveled. So many people in that impoverished Caribbean country had little to begin with. The earthquake left hundreds of thousands with nothing but their faith and their spirit.
I saw that faith and spirit in abundance. My CBS News crew and I met a middle-class woman, Madame Yolene Bartroni, whose house was the only one in her poor neighborhood still standing — cracked and unlivable, but standing. She opened the gates of her property to neighbors. More than 100 children, women and men joined Madame Bartroni and her family sleeping under makeshift tents in the yard.
Two weeks after the quake, no aid agencies had made it to her part of Port-au-Prince. So, with her salary as a hotel receptionist (she was one of the lucky Haitians still to have a job), she bought water and food and medicine and diapers. When she ran out of money, she tapped her family in the U.S., which used social networks to gather donations. Grateful neighbors say were it not for Madame Bartroni they'd be homeless and hungry in the streets. Holding back tears, Madame Bartroni told us they struggle to live day to day.
We saw that kind of giving every single day. People who had little sharing with those who had nothing.
It would have been understandable if Haitians had cursed their fate, but we witnessed just the opposite. Haitians are people of deep faith.
They marked the one month anniversary of the quake with prayer services all over the city. You could barely drive a block without seeing worshipers spilling out of the churches that were still standing or a congregation gathered where churches once stood.
Hymns filled the air. Hundreds of thousands of people gathered on the boulevards that surrounded the collapsed presidential palace, an ornate white structure that now resembles a melted wedding cake — hundreds of thousands solemnly praying for those who had died and joyously thankful for having survived.
When the minister called for five minutes of silence, the only sounds heard were quiet, heart-wrenching sobs here and there in the crowd. It was a powerful moment.
With the rainy season approaching and one million homeless people living in squalid tent cities, Haitians need all the faith and spirit they can muster. Proud and resilient as they are, they cannot get back up on their feet by themselves. They desperately need the helping hand the world extended immediately after the quake. Haitians wish they had the luxury of referring to this tragedy in the past tense. They need the world to remember it is their present and their future.
{Continue to keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers, even when they are removed from our eyes by the media...I look forward to serving them and seeing what God has in store when I go to Haiti in May.}
by Bill Whitaker
The cameras are gone; Haiti is off the front pages. Now two months later, it's possible for those who experienced the magnitude 7.0 earthquake through the media to think of the devastation and the humanitarian crisis that followed in the past tense. Chile and health care and unemployment demand our attention. For the people of Haiti, however, the crisis continues — a constant, inescapable, overwhelming reality.
I was in Haiti for a month, arriving one week after the quake. The first week I spent in shock. I had lived through the Northridge quake that rocked Los Angeles in 1984. That was horrible. But nothing prepared me for the horror I encountered in Port-au-Prince.
Block after block after block was leveled. So many people in that impoverished Caribbean country had little to begin with. The earthquake left hundreds of thousands with nothing but their faith and their spirit.
I saw that faith and spirit in abundance. My CBS News crew and I met a middle-class woman, Madame Yolene Bartroni, whose house was the only one in her poor neighborhood still standing — cracked and unlivable, but standing. She opened the gates of her property to neighbors. More than 100 children, women and men joined Madame Bartroni and her family sleeping under makeshift tents in the yard.
Two weeks after the quake, no aid agencies had made it to her part of Port-au-Prince. So, with her salary as a hotel receptionist (she was one of the lucky Haitians still to have a job), she bought water and food and medicine and diapers. When she ran out of money, she tapped her family in the U.S., which used social networks to gather donations. Grateful neighbors say were it not for Madame Bartroni they'd be homeless and hungry in the streets. Holding back tears, Madame Bartroni told us they struggle to live day to day.
We saw that kind of giving every single day. People who had little sharing with those who had nothing.
It would have been understandable if Haitians had cursed their fate, but we witnessed just the opposite. Haitians are people of deep faith.
They marked the one month anniversary of the quake with prayer services all over the city. You could barely drive a block without seeing worshipers spilling out of the churches that were still standing or a congregation gathered where churches once stood.
Hymns filled the air. Hundreds of thousands of people gathered on the boulevards that surrounded the collapsed presidential palace, an ornate white structure that now resembles a melted wedding cake — hundreds of thousands solemnly praying for those who had died and joyously thankful for having survived.
When the minister called for five minutes of silence, the only sounds heard were quiet, heart-wrenching sobs here and there in the crowd. It was a powerful moment.
With the rainy season approaching and one million homeless people living in squalid tent cities, Haitians need all the faith and spirit they can muster. Proud and resilient as they are, they cannot get back up on their feet by themselves. They desperately need the helping hand the world extended immediately after the quake. Haitians wish they had the luxury of referring to this tragedy in the past tense. They need the world to remember it is their present and their future.
{Continue to keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers, even when they are removed from our eyes by the media...I look forward to serving them and seeing what God has in store when I go to Haiti in May.}
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
...4 years...
It occured to me today that it is March....big realization, I know...Now normally, the beginning of March signals to me a time of reminiscence about when Tyler and I first began our journey toward a relationship...this year, with so much going on and it beginning to slip further and further I had almost forgotten. almost. So let me go ahead and warn you up front, this one may get a little on the mushy, gushy, pluck your eyeballs out of your head b/c you're so warm and fuzzy with love side. For that I appologize.
4 years ago, I came home from college on a normal weekend to spend some time with my family. Very normal for me. I was (am) a homebody, and did not enjoy staying at school on the weekends. Upon my return home, I was told by my mother that we were heading to church for a Lay Renewal weekend...I had no clue what it was, but I was sure as heck not thrilled about it. I ended upbeing dragged choosing gracefully to go anyway. And, as they say, the rest is history. Tyler and I ended up spending a majority of the weekend together, talking, hanging out, really getting to know each other...and I started feeling something for him. But there was no way that this man that I've known my whole life as more of a brother, could possibly have the same feelings for me. However, much to my surprise and delight, he revealed that he did indeed have feelings for me, but was unsure about them and wanted to take things slowly. I agreed, and so we began a process of (what he called) "befriending". (If you're an HA Alumni, I'm sure this term is alot more common to you than it was to me at the time. If you're not so familiar, it is basically defined as "spending a lot of time together, talking, getting into each other's lives and truly finding out if this person could possibly be the one you really want to spend more time going crazy with) This time that we spent getting to know each other better was perhaps one of the sweetest times of my life (hopefully, our lives).
As I look back on these past 4 years, I am blown away by how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. I think we drive each other just as crazy as we did back then (some days maybe crazier since we can't walk away to our own separate corners). I think that we love each other as much as we did in the beginning of our relationship, just maybe in different ways (some days maybe more). I think we're more stressed at times, but that tends to happen with 3 kids under the age of 3. I am overwhelmed by how much my love for this amazing man grows by the day. Even when he drives me up the wall and all I want to do is smack him, there is something in me that knows that no matter how sticky the muck gets, we'll wade through it together. I've been reading Love & War by John and Stasi Eldridge recently, and have been LOVING it. One thing I read today that I absolutely loved was this:
4 years ago, I came home from college on a normal weekend to spend some time with my family. Very normal for me. I was (am) a homebody, and did not enjoy staying at school on the weekends. Upon my return home, I was told by my mother that we were heading to church for a Lay Renewal weekend...I had no clue what it was, but I was sure as heck not thrilled about it. I ended up
As I look back on these past 4 years, I am blown away by how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. I think we drive each other just as crazy as we did back then (some days maybe crazier since we can't walk away to our own separate corners). I think that we love each other as much as we did in the beginning of our relationship, just maybe in different ways (some days maybe more). I think we're more stressed at times, but that tends to happen with 3 kids under the age of 3. I am overwhelmed by how much my love for this amazing man grows by the day. Even when he drives me up the wall and all I want to do is smack him, there is something in me that knows that no matter how sticky the muck gets, we'll wade through it together. I've been reading Love & War by John and Stasi Eldridge recently, and have been LOVING it. One thing I read today that I absolutely loved was this:
"Here you are-make your stand. This is the man or woman whose heart you have been entrusted with. You really have no idea what depths of companionship are available until you venture into those waters, and hang in there for many years. Besides, your own transformation is barely under way. Who knows all that God has in store for both of you? We would say that at twenty-five years we are just beginning to understand."
Tyler Mother-Freakin Dagenhardt,
I am blown away by our relationship. Your love for me is overwhelming.
I know we drive each other up the wall some days and that I am NOT
always the easiest person to live with, but I am so grateful that you have
stuck it out with me through thick and thin.
I have so much respect for you and how hard you work to provide for
our family, and for the incredible example of a man that you are to our
children.We are lucky to have you in our lives.
You mean so much to so many people, and to simply be a part of
your life and ministry is such an honor and a blessing.
I love you with all my heart.
More today than yesterday,
but not as much as tomorrow.
~Jules
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